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Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
7:41 pm
Holy shit.
This is me updating.
Im so bad ::hits her hand::

Anyways, I kinda took flight with my job lately.
Ive been packed.

Now its time to take a rest.


Care to join me?

current mood: apathetic

(10 rejected | Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Friday, January 31st, 2003
7:15 am - coffee?
Holy shit, look what time it is.

Something hit my window and woke me up.
I'm pretty sure it was the bad golfers at the resort next to me.
Not the golfers themselves, although that would be funny to see, but a ball.
Ever wonder why golfers are usually fat and wear grotesque pants
that don't match their shirts?
Who knows? I'm not much of a golfer myself.
Golf is such a funny game.
Who ever invented that game should be killed, and have a very slow death.
Also, who ever invented those ugly shorts they wear, should also be killed.




Why am I talking about golf?

current mood: bitchy

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Sunday, January 26th, 2003
10:28 am
I havent updated for a while..well..a good update.
and frankly, this isnt going to be a good one either.
So suck my toes.


Im sick, PMSing, and ready to kill.

Leave me alone.


thanks

current mood: bitchy

(9 rejected | Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Saturday, January 18th, 2003
10:59 am - I can be the enemy
I find myself taking pieces of people and putting them to my use.
I don’t seem to want to take the whole person, in fear I might want them to stay.
Instead...I just take a small piece of them with me.
They don’t even know it.
Oblivious that they’ve made a difference, I take a piece of them.
And things are never said.
Things are never done.
The fact that they don’t know almost makes it better.
Because…
Then I don’t owe them anything.


I don’t owe anything to anyone…
I only owe it to myself.

Selfish isn’t the right word; but it’s the first word that comes to mind.


Synonyms:
Self-Centered
Egocentric
Inconsiderate?

Perhaps…
But aren’t we all.

current mood: moody

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Wednesday, January 15th, 2003
5:05 pm - word up
~Slip into the autumn shade
I could sleep for days
But I like the sun when
I can hear another sound
It's a long way down
Keep my head up

Who am I to be this way
Dreamin so insane
But I like the sun when
Falling through another plan
Never one the same
Keep my head up~

current mood: amused

(21 rejected | Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Tuesday, January 14th, 2003
9:10 pm - OOC
OK, I know everyone hates OOC but...
Ive updated too much yet I still wanna update.
So this is ME updating.

If Im not around everyday, like I usually am Its because
a close family member died and theres just lots of things going on. Yes life goes on..
But, Im still here. I know you guys are just SO happy;-)

So. Other than THAT.

Hello and junk from me
rachel
Me bored..watch out its scary.Collapse )

current mood: aggravated

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Sunday, January 12th, 2003
10:11 pm - standing so close..
I dont know why Im updating so much.
I guess I just have a lot on my mind.
I havent seen Damian yet..
Hes a little upset by recent talk lately.
Sorry love..
If it makes you feel any better..
Im not going to judge you on what I hear.
its just not right..and Its not how I am.


<3


"As much as I love autumn, I'm giving myself to ashes."

current mood: intimidated

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

4:59 pm - shut it down..
Im not going to be someones week girl.

I hope that im around longer than just a week..

I really do.

Anyways..
Im in chicago for multiple reasons.
One reason, Im going to visit damian.
Hopefully the trip is good.
I love this city.
Off to shop.

current mood: amused

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

12:13 am
Its amazing what one night can do.

And what one person can say...

that changes your life very easily.


Im off to chicago.

current mood: amused

(1 rejected | Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Saturday, January 11th, 2003
6:47 pm
Im such a big baby. Im in london and I already miss home.
Oh well. Good city, good people, good drinkin.
I miss the beach.Collapse )

current mood: amused

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

11:02 am - awake? not really..
I swear, this morning, my bed would not let me get up.
Dont you love when the sun starts creeping through the curtains..
It hits your eyes just a little..
And its almost comforting..knowing that youve lived another day here.
But..
You dont want to get up to go enjoy it. ha.
Amusing, I assure you.

Now Im off to go work, not that its really work at all.
And enjoy london to its fullest.
Ive needed this break for a while.
Hopefully everything goes well.
If not..Ill just sit in my room and
have fun with Mr. Alcohol


.carolyn.

current mood: restless

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Friday, January 10th, 2003
2:20 pm - Im off to london. Be back..never.
Driving down the street, I've trained my eyes to get lost in the seemingly endless, vertical nirvana. Well, it would feel utopian anyway, if you never fell back to reality; back down to the septic imagery so disgusting that you want to shut your eyes tight enough to stop the nervous and chemical signals from ever reaching your brain.
Fuck, those are the eyesores that make me hate optic nerves.
...and you would call a blind person disabled? The smells fade, the sounds grow natural, the feelings become anesthetic, and the taste buds can choke down anything bitter, but the cornea will never blacken enough, no matter how many permanent markers I abuse. Having no focal point would draw every conclusion to heaven, and it is those aesthetics which could never exist on the this level-plane.
So I look up.
...At least, it would seem that easy.
Burning the image of forgiveness into your retinas is never facile on a cloudy day. The endless floors create an infinite overcast, and bliss always shuts the door: Forcing me back to nausea.
And I need to be impaired.
...At least, I wish it were that easy.
It's like a car crash.
People slowing down as they drive by, staring out their windows at the same spectacle
again
and again
and again.
Like television sets.
Like computer screens.
It doesn't become a distraction, when there is nothing to distract from.
And as centuries go on, the flames to stimuli are further extinguished until no emotional response is induced.
You
can
not
burn
ashes.
Empyrean is only a single, callous blink away.

Oh, how I love the city.

current mood: awake

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Wednesday, January 8th, 2003
7:31 am - when relationships lose relation
Human connection becomes no more than experimentation.
Incite and React. React and Observe.
In one hand I hold everything, in the other: nothing. The weight is so indifferent that choosing becomes obsolete. To throw away both is to throw away nothing; is to throw away everything; is to throw away.
My time line has become marked by half-hour milestones. Everything in between becomes the passing period for which faces are molded and awkward situations are avoided. For thirty minutes I am reborn. For thirty minutes I am.



I always write nonsense in the morning.
Forgive me.

current mood: exhausted

(2 rejected | Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Monday, January 6th, 2003
5:23 pm
Honestly.

You wake up one day, and you feel magnificent
The next second I feel like my nose is going to fall off
And my stomach is twisted.

I hate being sick.


I feel all dirty
I’d take a bath, but I’m too lazy.

Someone help me
Like…
tossing me into the tub;-)

Thanks

.Carolyn.

current mood: sick

(3 rejected | Rejection from a fool is cruel)

5:11 pm - take the next ship into outerspace
The holidays were such a pain this year.
I booked too much for myself to do, and I realize that
maybe I should of done the photo shoots for Christmas time..
a bit earlier..

Cause now I’m spent..

Hah. Poor me.

current mood: restless

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)

6:56 am
Ok, Someone please help me with icons.

I swear...there must be ONE good picture of me out there.



Please
::puppy face::

current mood: awake

(4 rejected | Rejection from a fool is cruel)

Sunday, January 5th, 2003
11:51 pm - Insert cool subject title
Wow.
I have a journal. Im turning into a sheep, and following the crowd
Anyways.
Ill update later when I have something interesting to say.


.carolyn.

current mood: accomplished

(Rejection from a fool is cruel)


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